She only cleans during commercials. Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Unplug the cord, too, as well as any connected devices. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 32. She hoped the soaps would act as a detergent against future grime. ' Jerry Seinfeld, I was not a particularly small child. one-liners as much as we did in selecting them. 4. When the manager comes, she asks the man, Is there something wrong, sir? And the man replies, Oh, somethings wrong everything you sell sucks.. Funny one-liners 1. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. 16. To the person who stole my power . 17. After browsing for a while, he asks to speak to the manager. 100 Best Dad Jokes175 Bad Jokes101 Corny Jokes200+ Jokes for Kids101 Bad Puns. The process was paneful. We have a combination of the best laundry one-liners, puns, fashion puns, and clothes puns ready for you. Its been collecting dirt on you for years. 64. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a6acb093a6415256b84d8aa314dc8bdc" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Your email address will not be published. 67. The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously. Why not try out these one-liners on your friends and family next time you are at home? Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? 48. 38. Some robbers broke into my house and stole everything except the soaps in the kitchen, laundry room, and bathroom. 18. Have you heard the name of the next book of the Divergent trilogy? I told her that Ive got loads of them. Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. 83. What do sailors do their laundry with? Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. 40. Mark Twain, that prolific witty author who brought to us the delightful tale of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, was a quick witted man who seldom kept his opinion to himself! When he entered his bedroom and noticed the dirty pillow, he immediately took the case. Via Getty Images/Michael Heim / EyeEm. What's the name of the first president of the laundromat? My dad thought he had won an argument with my mom about how to arrange our house furniture. 29. 85. With Thai Pods. 81. It's simple. Doctor, theres a patient on line one that says hes invisible. 72. 227 points. Think those are funny? We have a load of washing machine jokes, laundry detergent jokes, and so much more. We're not going to leave you high and dry like clothes hanging outside on a line. My dad seeing that, exclaimed, "that was a clothes one.". The bartender said, Sorry, we dont serve spirits here.. Our list includes a selection from the Aldi Mamia Best Dad Joke contest. Are you looking for more jokes? When I am asked what my favourite genre of music is, I always say it is House. Well see about that. 66. It was very sweet. But its all just water under the fridge now. That was a load off of my mind. Riveting! Stewart Francis, The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. The mirror in my room was upset. 59. It was way too cold out tide. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. THIS IS HILARIOUS. We also have clean adult jokes for you to enjoy. Marcus Buckingham, You dont get anything clean without getting something else dirty. The world champion tongue twister got arrested. A member of staff came up to me and said hey youre that mad bloke off the telly. 5) "Nowadays, comedians tell the news and the media tells the jokes.". 77. My IQ test results. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. The only beverage he likes is real-tea. ), 61 HILARIOUS Sydney Jokes That Aussies Will Love. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! I'm currently eating a yoghurt called Susan. 15. 62. I told him to be himself; that was pretty mean, I guess. 36. They can be basic one-liners that are nevertheless funny enough to make everyone chuckle. Laundry day is a dreadful day that everyone has to go through at least once a week. Just burned 2,000 calories. Mario Buatta, The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. When my sister came back and saw the furniture in her room had been re-arranged, she hit the roof! Pollen is what happens when flowers cant keep it in their plants. That's why we've rounded-up some of the best spring jokes we've heard to add even more joy to the cheerful time of year. 75. I spilled the beans. Communist jokes arent funny unless everyone gets them. A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. BBLTHRW. Nuclear detergents. He loves cooking too but he always has to do it from scratch because he hates micro-waves. I was not certain about making our furniture ourselves. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. 55. We call her deodor-aunt. I guess that was Marge in All. Prompt and efficient payer. But now Im not so sure. 11. 76. 2. 13. 58. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, ORourke, We dream of having a clean house but who dreams of actually doing the cleaning? 50 One-Liner Jokes That'd Leave You Rolling Last Updated on March 6, 2023 One could easily feel overwhelmed by the dynamic and technology-driven planet we find ourselves in. What would you call it if you almost forgot to wash your laundry? 13. 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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. It was an udder failure. My dog shed his hair all over the house, specifically on the fur-niture. 61. My friend got a Ph.D. in washing machines. Well, tell him I cant see him right now.. My boss gets really annoyed when I call him "Dick". This list also has some gingerbread house puns to use when you have created your masterpiece. I used to think I was indecisive. 1.How was the nurse's advice on Q-tips received? We are sure that everybody can relate. I went thats me, and he went no, youre that mad bloke off the telly! Lee Mack, 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips, You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. I have a split personality, said Tom, being Frank. My laundry machine and dishwasher broke down today. I almost fell down the stairs yesterday with a bucket of washed laundry in my hand. Exact Match Keywords: cleaning puns names, short cleaning puns, cleaning product puns, housekeeping jokes one liners, spring cleaning puns, cleaning supply puns, wash puns, dry cleaning puns Source: https://jokesquotesfactory.com/cleaning-jokes-puns/ 'Clean'ing Jokes. They can sit and watch me for hours. They were a-mason. 69. 51. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Try telling one of the side-splitting medical jokes and puns that are guaranteed to get some giggles. I am originally from Indiana. When the refrigerator and microwave got married, the toaster gave a brilliant speech. 35. What detergent did the mermaid use? They would be the real crime detergents. 24. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. Being rich, one of the worst things that can happen to someone is having all of their secrets revealed. Its just something I could really see myself doing. When I was a baby he said, Is this a joke? Ken Dodd, I went down the local supermarket. Food-naming I love my job. Suddenly it Dawn-ed on me. 32. If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages? 39. My dad complained that he had misplaced a sock while doing his laundry. Yesterday, my wife injured her back trying to reach for the laundry detergent. Why? 14. The bungalow is known to have been haunted by ghosts in the past. Why did the mobsters prefer not to launder the dirty money? 6. That's because his blue shirt was dirty and in the laundry. I guess theres no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. Jerry Seinfeld, My star sign is Pyrex. He was truly counter productive. If you want more, we have clean jokes that are actually funny. 9. Remains to be seen. 22. Pat. Aisling Bea, Im not a very muscular man; the strongest thing about me is my password. Rory OKeeffe, 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners, Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache and glasses, I think, Theres a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him. Carey Marx, I was playing chess with my friend and he said, Lets make this interesting. First rule of house cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Making sure that your house stays radiant and clean is a big aspect of every homeowner's responsibilities. 91. Things got a little tense. A Deter Gent. Geology rocks, but geographys where its at. I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line. I said: I want to make a complaint this vinegars got lumps in it. He said: Those are pickled onions. Tim Vine, My grandfather invented the cold air balloon but it never really took off. Milton Jones, I moved to a well-to-do area. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says 'Plethora.'. Lately, colleagues have been writing names on the food in the office fridge. It said it needed some alone time to reflect. I thought, thats Abba-riginal. Tim Vine, I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning, Are we then yet? Paul F. Taylor, Two monkeys were getting into the bath. You know the only thing I hate more than having a dirty house? Your privacy is important to us. I rang up British Telecom and said: I want to report a nuisance caller. He said: Not you again. Tim Vine, Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld, I was in my car driving back from work. 46. 4. Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy. Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training. He's going to get in loads of trouble. If your homing pigeon doesnt come back, then what youve lost is a pigeon. Sara Pascoe, It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it youre adding raisins and marshmallows its a rocky road. Olaf Falafel, Somebody just gave me a shower radio. The glass complimented the coffee mug and said, "You look absolutely mug-nificient". Ready for some rib-tickling cleaning jokes? I dont know and I dont care. and MoonPig (opens in new tab) 's survey for the best Great British dad jokes . 11. I found out that I accidentally washed some of my brother's Nerf darts in the laundry. . What would happen if you found $50 while doing laundry? Take that, to do list! My brother promised he would be on top of our laundry. Why do basketball players have messy rooms? It was either All or muffin. In fact, its been the inspiration for many a funny meme on every social platform. 18. George Carlin Quotes 1. How do you clean Disney World? 58. Cecil Baxter. 79. Only a mon-key will be able to open the lock to my house. 99. We always have some spare chairs in our house. Since you stayed until the end, here are more clean jokes for kids and adults: Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. I could not successfully assemble the furniture I got from the store that day. Radhika Mundra, Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes. I only have my shelf to blame though. 44. You never know what you haveuntil you clean your room. 77. There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. I don't have washboard abs. 20. 76. Mom: Honey, your house is a wreck! When you clean out a vacuum cleaner 42. My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. All of it is washed up.". 49. I took the stairs instead of the elevator today. New puns on household appliances can be a great way to bring the family members together too. ' Tommy Cooper, If you dont know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself. Ian Smith, I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning that can keep me awake for days. Billy Connolly, I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time. Tom Ward, Red sky at night: shepherds delight. Dad made a huge gingerbread house with the kids. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. 30. There are also cleaners puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. I really am light!". What would you call it if you went poor and switched your detergent for cheap powder? When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton. Jimmy Carr, I told the Inland Revenue I dont owe them a penny. 14. 84. My cousin Margaret said that she once fell into a detergent vat at a factory where she worked. 5. Every visitor was apprehensive about their neigh-bour's behaviour. 30. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke .) Prepare the sealant according to the package directions and test it on a small inconspicuous area. Then the kids woke up. My house is so messy it looks like Im losing a game of Jumanji. To the person who stole my case of energy drinks: I hope you can't sleep at night. So, just relax and read our one-liner jokes about cleaning your room. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. By load balancing. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 88. My observational comedy improved. Sara Pascoe, I dont trust the press. If your daughter gets untidy from playing in the mud outside, you should just washer and dryer. There should be confetti in tires, so it's still an okay day when there is a blow-out. The problem isnt that obesity runs in your family. I went to the laundromat yesterday with some money. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. What happens when a closet picks a fight? You don't want your dirty laundry out there for everyone to see. 56. 71. Lindt chocolate. I threw a boomerang a couple years ago; I know live in constant fear. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why didnt the toilet paper make it past the road? Enter these funny one-liners. 64. The rotation of Earth really makes my day. I thought: This could be interesting. Paddy Lennox, If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths? Dara OBriain, Ive always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly, You cant lose a homing pigeon. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down. Connection! What would happen if a person from Alabama dropped their detergent down a hill? 21. Pick the right one for you and go ahead throw some jokes to your friends. Build a man a fire and hell be warm for a day. My cousin wanted to know if I knew any laundry puns. Hes a small arms dealer. He is a knife guy. All I did was take a day off. These better be funny! When my sister came back and saw the furniture in her room had been re-arranged, she hit the roof! Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. 2. The remote assured the television that everything was under his control. That's a bit of a stretch." "I don't have a girlfriend. I just told her, "I can't listen to it. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. 101. 2. ' Tim Vine, I do all the exercises every morning in front of the television up, down, up, down, up, down. My girlfriend got mad at me because I wanted to role play. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. 3. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop? You never know what you have until you clean your room. What did the broom say to the vacuum? One Of The Best Long Clean Jokes For Adults Teacher: "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" Timmy: "I want to follow in my father's footsteps and be a policeman." Teacher: "I didn't know you father was a policeman." Timmy: "He isn't. He's a burglar." I am an introvert. Come to think of it, Im not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. Never trust atoms; they make up everything. 101 Clean Jokes 1. 89. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? Will glass coffins be a success? This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, The Best Laundry Puns And Jokes To Get You In A Spin, 38 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. I built a car out of my used and broken washing machine. 52. I just have everything on display. My dad just said, "the dryer can't run. Best Cleaning Jokes, Puns, and One-Liners Why did the burglar take a shower? No, she says shed rather have it in a cup. Eric Morecambe, My granddad always said never judge a book by its cover. My house was clean yesterday. I always take life with a grain of salt. It should be: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours ox except in Scrabble. David ODoherty, How come Miss Universe is only won by people from Earth? Ross Noble, I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. A termite walks into the bar and asks, Is the bar tender here?. 62. Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal. Paul F Taylor, A man walked into the doctors. If you are looking for some funny real estate jokes and realtor jokes, then you will love this article! Let's see some cleaning jokes by famous people. 22. Ruby Lou Barnhill, I always clean before the cleaning lady comes. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 8. 63. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. What kind of exercise do washing machines love? I asked my dad if the dryer was still running. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. Have you met the new cook at my house? The real estate agent failed to sell the house that was close to the stable. Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Or theres this one: Cleaning the house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. That one is actually a quote from Phyllis Diller from her 1966 book Phyllis Dillers Housekeeping Hints and it still rings true, even today. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. I got a new pair of gloves today, but theyre both lefts, which on the one hand is great, but on the other, its just not right. Tap To Copy. The reason those quotes are shared so much is that they are so freaking relatable! It said, "good scour.". All rights reserved. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. 31. 86. Here are a few examples of his wit and wisdom: Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. The coach replied, "You're standing too close to the ball after you've hit it.". They charged one and let the other one off. Tommy Cooper, Im learning the hokey cokey. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. With a meteor shower! That is wrong on so many different levels.' - Tim Vine These 100 jokes are free. If you want to read more puns about clothes, be sure to check out sock puns and shoe puns. And a shot of tequila. I know its well-to-do because I said to my husband its chilly in here, and he said shall we turn the floor up? Sarah Millican, Police arrested two kids yesterday. Found your favourite joke about cleaning? 43. I left without making a scene. Do you want me to help you clean it?. 34. Its like a vacuum cleaner.. 14. Its your vacuum cleaner that should give you pause. My grandmother left behind her favourite rocking chair. The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'". Yes, George was Washing-a-ton. It has got a strange house-story. It went inside one ear and out of the other. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road. 55. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We chair-ish it. She seemed surprised. I built a car out of my used and broken washing machine. We have a combination of the best laundry one-liners, puns, fashion puns, and clothes puns ready for you. What did the laundry ever do to you? I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. I made a few speaker boxes out of my used laundry detergent bottles. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! He replied, "it was a sockrifice.". 56. 32. All of a sudden, the bottle exploded and completely drenched my hands. Because they love clean sheets. 33. Speaking to his son, a man started venting about his job at the dry cleaners and how sick and tired he was of it. Why did the astronaut bring his maid to the ISS (International Space Station)? 3. It got stuck in a crack. He says, Uno, dos and poof! 57. Lets see some cleaning jokes by famous people. My room is not dirty. I had to put my foot down. IE 11 is not supported. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. 18. 25. I just replied with, "well, ain't that a little nutty?". It'd be 'Star Wash: Attack Of The Clothes'. How do people wash their laundry in Bangkok? We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Sistermatic. Famous One Liner Jokes. Tied pods. To do his duty. There was a PI who one day decided to wash the clothes in his bedroom. From one-liners to corny comedy, this hilarious selection of the best dad jokes will have kids and adults alike laughing. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. 45. Radhika Mundra, Housework cant kill you but why take a chance. 74. 39. The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. I woke up in the morning to see a new version of myself. It doesn't have legs.". Why'd the Eskimo do his laundry inside with tide pods? I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. If you push that down and twist it, hes full of sweets. Sean Lock, My problem with The Grand Canyon is Americans are too proud of it for my liking. 47. Im more annoyed that, no matter how much I sing, woodland animals have not once helped me with housework. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cleaners janitor dad jokes. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, One says, How do you drive this thing?. 38. 12. My friend once found a $50 bill in his pants pocket after laundry. The Spin Cycle. Check out these one-liner nurse jokes filled with nurse humor. You look very glass-y". If you enjoy cracking jokes and one-liners at home, this article will not only help in fostering new ideas but will also act as a great stress buster, enjoy! Don't miss these 25 brainy jokes that'll make ye sound like a genius. 2. 70. My mom said, "You only have your shelf to blame for this". Please add a link to this article. More giggles and laughter with this short clean jokes for adults. Two wifi engineers got married. Whats that popular meme thats been making the rounds on social media for years? Why are poker players good at doing laundry? Why? Wellington boots? Billy Connolly, I went to Waterstones and asked the woman for a book about turtles. It is really hard to keep our houses clean! Funny Mom Jokes 2023 Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. These hilariously funny jokes are meant to make you laugh about the amusing challenges of motherhood. Now my hands are tide. We're sure that Ree Drummond's husband Ladd appreciates a cheesy dad jokehe loves a good prank, after all. That way, when you do criticize them, youre a mile away and you have their shoes. I accidentally spilled quite a lot of laundry detergent. I call it insta-gram. 25. 8. 73. Well, to be Frank with you, Id have to change my name. Bank Jokes One Liners Clean Bank Jokes Dirty Bank Jokes Bank Jokes for Adults Bank Jokes for Kids Bank Jokes and Puns Final Thoughts on Bank Jokes Best Bank Jokes To lighten your mood and boost your energies, we collected a few best bank jokes. 40. But you teach a man to fish saved yourself a fish havent you? Lee Mack, Crime in multi-storey car parks. Here's the list of some of the punniest clever jokes related to laundry. But, if such a sad instance occurs and you couldn't find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section. What would you call a dapper bouncer at the laundromat? Both of us cant look good at the same time, its me or the house. 35. What would you call Tide Pods that prevent wars? Our lives are made more enjoyable by jokes. What would you call a dancing clothes dryer? He was the genius. Sid Caesar, I used to think sticks and stones could break my bones but words could never hurt me until I fell into a printing press. Milton Jones, Why on earth do people say things like my eyes arent what they used to be. So what did they used to be? When I told him that, he just replied, "laundry isn't my strong suit when I have to wash my bathing suit.". 35. But when he came back from work, the tables had turned. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Take a peek at these funny jokes we have for you. ), 79 BEST Funny Jokes Easy to Share (for Adults & Kids), 60 Funny Pumpkin Jokes (Youll Surely FALL in love! An owl is essentially a one-piece unit. Ross Noble, If a role requires a haircut, I say I wont do it. My dad thought he had won an argument with my mom about how to arrange our house furniture. 23. I gave up my seat to an elderly person on the bus. I said that it was a sacrifice for the dryer god. My cousin wanted to know if I knew any laundry puns. My mother usually prefers doing laundry during the daytime. The Italian man could not enter his own house. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. In reality, artists find art puns and jokes to be amusing and even entertaining. Whats a frogs favorite type of shoes? I always say that If you think doing laundry is not funny, you just need to have a dryer sense of humor. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. If you cleaned your mahogany desk, your mom wood be very happy. House puns and jokes may not be very common but they are great conversation starters. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. I don't find medical puns funny anymore since I began suffering from an irony deficiency. 41. I wrote a song about how I changed the lock of my house door. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when youre signing someones cast. 42. We had a small table that did not fit everyone. 3.. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. May. Did you hear about the pregnant . Mushrooms! Because they know how to fold. 37. This book brings to you 500 unique easy one-liner jokes, appropriate for barely older kids and dad and mom too! Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. Set a man on fire and hell be warm for the rest of his life.